Not bad, despite the misnomer

The irony of a place called Islands, is that it's originally from Southern California. I suppose, perhaps that's not really as ironic as it is perhaps cliched, but I think you get my point. That being said, we stopped over here for dinner on the way home from a retreat. I had seen one of these near where I am in Northern California and was always curious. My SoCal friends said that it was a fairly generic burger chain from their neck of the woods. That being said, it still intrigued me.

Huh, they figured it out...

The mushroom burger is a fairly common burger. In fact, most places have gotten it worked out to some kind of mushroom and a Swiss cheese of some sort. Once you've sauteed the mushrooms and melted the cheese it provides a nice contrast in texture and flavor from the beef. That being said, I think someone's kind of figured it out. Ironically, that someone isn't a burger place. That place, may just be Boudin SF.

Utter Smash

So this place looked interesting. It had all the earmarks of a mid to high end burger chain. I knew it was a chain because I saw one under construction in New York as well as in California. So this time around, it was finally open, and so I decided to give Smashburger a go. It was nice, it was clean, the staff was friendly, the ordering was pretty straightforward, with a handy-dandy screen for you to review your order too.

I don't get the pretzel bun

So on a whim, and mostly because my mother had a coupon, we decided, that it would be nice to go to Ruby Tuesday for lunch. Honestly, it's not really because we think Ruby Tuesday is great or anything, more that it was just in a convenient location and everything. I'm not going to go out of my way to criticize it, but honestly if it were another store (i.e. TGIF or Chili's) and my mom had a coupon, we'd probably go there as well. That being said, they have a relatively comprehensive burger selection on the menu so I decided to give it a go.

Not quite the heat I was expecting...

To celebrate a friend's birthday, I decided to grab lunch at Smokey Bones BBQ, which I now realize is something of chain. The main reason I didn't realize that at first was simply because I've only seen the one I went to, which is just outside of my apartment, so that worked out for me. I'd been here before with a friend because I had heard that the food was pretty good and he had a coupon. I also picked this place subsequently for this particular outing because I too had a coupon available. We started with an order of fried pickles, which were quite tasty, but you're here about the burgers, so let's jump into that.

Not a bad special

Bacon Pepperjack Burger, a photo by jaceman4 on Flickr.

Usually at most places I'm a little leery of the seasonal specials. Especially big corporate chains like Denny's. However, this special burger they had during their bacon special was quite good, surprisingly so. Maybe it was because it was at a Denny's, though, I've come to the point of realizing where if you don't have super high expectations for Denny's when you walk in, you probably will usually be pleasantly surprised.

Overall, the meat was cooked pretty well, albeit a little on the drier side (as they don't serve anything more rare than medium-well). They had an interesting tangy sauce to go with the bacon and pepperjack cheese, which I thought worked quite well. All-in-all, not a bad thing.

Apparently they added seasoned fries to the menu. That being said, they did take the burger off of the cheaper, value menu slot, and this was a special anyways, but still it wasn't that bad of a deal. It's Denny's so you're pretty safe overall. I'd imagine this would be amazing at like 2AM.

Sonic Bust

Sonic Cheeseburger, a photo by jaceman4 on Flickr.

So I was in the Baltimore area visiting a friend, and I noticed that there was a Sonic in the area, so we decided that it wouldn't be a bad idea to stop by there before hopping on over to Annapolis to visit the Naval Academy. I mean, after all, I had spent all of a couple of years in California watching those commercials for the place, which may have been a bad thing.

Overall, the burger was about as plain as you can get. I mean, it could've been worse, but it definitely wasn't on par with what I would consider top tier fast food (i.e. In-N-Out and Five Guys). Very, very forgettable. Not even the roller skating waitress made up for that, she looked about as excited to be there as I did after having my burger. Everything was just plain, which is again, not to say bad, but I'm not exactly going to go out of my way for backyard BBQ type stuff. Then again, I may have just insulted a bunch of backyard BBQers with that comparison.

Fries were the normal fries like you'd get at a Burger King or generic local burger joint. Nothing worthwhile. Overall, I have to say, major disappointment. Can't really say I understand the appeal of the place.

Conceptually Sound

Quarter lb cheeseburger, a photo by jaceman4 on Flickr.

Okay, granted I went to a service station off the highway which is only marginally better than eating at the airport, but still, I have yet to see a Roy Rogers not in a service station off the highway. Now I had remembered generally good things about Roy Rogers but I suppose I'm such a burger snob now that I must inevitably be disappointed by something like this. Theoretically it's a pretty nifty concept, it's basically Arby's meets Wendy's meets a condiment bar. Execution however, was lacking, I'm going to blame the service station.

Yes, there is a patty under there, it wasn't phenomenal, but it was pretty good. You can't really rate the fixings or condiments a whole lot when you kind of pick your own, the selection overall was pretty good, with banana peppers added to the normal selection of pickles, onions, lettuce, and tomatoes. I opted for mayo and their BBQ sauce, which was nice and tangy. Otherwise, a generally forgettable meal.

The fries were pretty typical of a fast food joint, let's say comparable to Wendy's, good not great. If you find a Roy Rogers not in a service station I'd like to know where so I can go. Otherwise, it's not really worth making a trip for.

Aged to... well relative tastiness

Cabot Aged Cheddar & Sautéed Mushroom Burger, a photo by jaceman4 on Flickr.

Okay, I know, I went to Uno's and I decided to get another burger, but this time, I did decide to get the one with the fancy name. Part of me is generally convinced that my previous poor Uno's burger experience generally had more to do with the Uno's (namely the kitchen preparing it) than necessarily Uno's food itself. I was only partially wrong about that. Partially. Which is to say that this second burger was better, not really to the extent that I thought it was worthwhile, but better. I know, it's not saying much.

Typically, the mushroom-cheese pairing on these kind of burgers has been portabella and Swiss, but I guess they opted to either go cheap or go American, or both, and go with normal button mushrooms and Cheddar (albeit Cabot aged cheddar, which honestly doesn't say much to me except "fancy"). At first I thought that it, like my previous burger experience would be lacking in the condiment department so I got A1 to put on it, but I did find, to my surprise, they had a pleasant, tangy house sauce (not dissimilar to McDonald's Big Mac Thousand Island) underneath the patty. The beef was cooked fairly well, the mushrooms added a little juiciness from the sauteing and the cheese tasted like, well normal cheese. Honestly, I couldn't tell a huge difference made by the Cabot aging, but maybe that just means I'm not a cheese connoisseur.

The fries were again typical, bulk-order, frozen, restaurant-style fries, which were not overdone, so that was good. Again, this isn't something I'd recommend you going out of your way to get, but if you happen to be at an Uno's craving a burger, this probably would be one of the better choices.

Glamor isn't so easily obtained

Monterey Cheeseburger, a photo by jaceman4 on Flickr.

Well, now that Cheesecake Factory has a whole page dedicated to its self-titled "Glamburgers", I'm not really sure what to make of it. On one hand, they're pretty good, and they're something I'd consistently get at Cheesecake Factory should I consistently go, on the other hand, they're not as good as the single Kobe Burger item that was on the original menu. Nonetheless, I applaud their efforts in making their menu more appealing to the masses.

The Monterey Burger pays its homage to the state it references, California, with its large hunk of avocado on top. It's supposed to also be topped with arugula, monterey jack cheese, and a chipotle mayo I believe. Overall, I enjoyed the light char of the burger, and the meat quality was excellent. The bun was well toasted, the arugula fresh, the cheese melty, and the avocado smooth and creamy. However, despite the excellence of each individual component of the burger, it is the combination of these components that really determined the quality of the burger, and that unfortunately, is what makes this burger only mediocre. It was really hard to taste the chipotle mayo over the creaminess of the avocado, additionally, the way the avocado was sliced, made the burger itself somewhat difficult to manage. Furthermore, the Monterey Jack cheese was far too mild to compliment the arugula, while the avocado helped a little with the texture, to match the crispness and slight bitter flavor of the arugula you really need a crumbly more pungent cheese, such as gorgonzola or bleu cheese (and I typically don't like bleu cheese). While the ingredients and execution of each individual part was excellent, the burger was inherently flawed at the foundational level of the concept.

You can get sweet potato fries with their burgers here, which is a plus, but that being said, you're not reading this blog for the fries but for the burgers. It's Cheesecake Factory, so you know you'll go there, or at least you know that NBA players will. Burgers are a safe bet here, the Monterey Burger wasn't for me, but maybe you'll like it, personally, I don't recommend it. Unlike many of the other burgers I've reviewed, it was the idea, not the execution that fell short this time.

U NO MAS!

BBQ Burger with Bacon and Cheddar, a photo by jaceman4 on Flickr.

I don't know if people will get that title, I thought it was witty, but in retrospect it may just be contrived, and now I don't feel like putting in the effort of trying to think of a new one. So, I know, when people hear that I went to Uno's for a burger they'll be wondering why I ordered a burger at a pizza joint. I had some good luck with Jake's and I knew that Uno's does more than just pizza. Unfortunately, as it is with chains that have been around for so long, the quality tends to deteriorate. While they tried to spruce things up with those new booklet menus like Cheesecake Factory, the essential product delivered was still the same; that is to say, not as good as it could've or should've been.

The burger as you can surmise, was a burger, with bacon and cheese and BBQ sauce. So let's go back to the basics, the meat was okay, but for a place this pricey, the portions were undeniably stingy. The patty was okay, nothing fancy, a little on the greasy/watery side, which either means frozen or poor quality (too high fat content, 15-20% depending on means of cooking is ideal) meat or both. The bacon was bacon, and the cheese was cheese, they neither added to nor detracted from the burger. The lettuce, onion, and tomato were not exceptionally better than something you might find at Applebee's or even a nicer fast-food chain like Five Guys or In-N-Out. The sauce was well, overly sweet, and kind of runny, though I couldn't tell if that was the sauce or the burger. Supposedly it was supposed to be their signature "Wowza" sauce made with Sam Adams lager, but frankly, I really didn't taste a whole lot that differentiated it from something slightly fancier than Kraft BBQ sauce from the supermarket. Maybe I just don't know my BBQ sauce. Overall, it didn't mix well with the burger, but rather overpowered a lot of the other flavors. It really was an immemorable blur.

The fries were... well, what you'd expect from a high school cafeteria; bulk purchase, frozen, and deep fried. It's pretty hard to get these wrong, I'd have been sad if they did. At the very least, because some people have a hard time understanding what my dad says in English, I got a free BBQ chicken pizza out of it. It wasn't that good either, but it was free. Uno's? Well, I wouldn't go there for their burgers, though nowadays, I'm not sure I'd go there for anything else either.

It's not a great neighborhood but it's not that bad either

Southwest Jalapeno Burger, a photo by jaceman4 on Flickr.

What?! Two Applebee's reviews?! My standards are really slipping aren't they? Perhaps that's what some of you are thinking, or perhaps this has you questioning my credibility, but, hey, I'm indiscriminate like that with burgers. Besides, I'm at Applebee's, what the heck else am I going to get? That being said, my parents wanted to come here for the two entrees for $20 thing so I figure, anytime I come to one of these places, I'm going with a burger, I mean, that's at least something they can't screw up TOO badly right? So far so good.

So this burger looked pretty interesting to me, namely because all the other burgers didn't really look like burgers (basically other food with burger meat, Philly burger? Quesadilla burger? Com'on, not to say that they're bad but they certainly ain't no burgers, generally speaking). The meat was pretty well prepared, the cheese melty, and the bun performed its job serviceably, without falling apart or getting in the way of the burger consumption. The chipotle mayo was applied somewhat lopsidedly, but I suppose I can't expect too much from an Applebee's kitchen. That being said, it was mostly the candied jalapeno's that caught my attention, both on the menu and on my palate. They gave the burger a nice tangy flavor. I personally like a little more kick, but this was still okay. Add in pickle chips and gets more tangy. It was an interesting experience, which ultimately made the chipotle mayo somewhat useless, unless there's some subtle mixing of the flavor happening that I didn't notice.

Fries are fries are fries. I know, I say it a lot, but this is Applebee's, there's not much to say about it. I mean, com'on, they serve tortilla chips with their spinach and artichoke dip, if that's normal, then I guess I'm a snob. But hey, free refills (drinks only). Dude, it's Applebee's, if you're coming here, I'm sure there's a good reason, I'm not going to say more.

Stardom is relative I suppose

All Star Steakburger, a photo by jaceman4 on Flickr.

I only knew this place by name because what we usually referred to as "99" was Ranch 99 Chinese supermarket in the West Coast, so seeing one in New York threw us off a little. The font for the numbers was kind of similar too, but then the horseshoe around it informed us that it was a restaurant of some sort and we didn't think much of it. Later, on a visit back to New York (the state not the city) from Washington (the state not the city) a friend and I were trying to decide where to eat and we were suggested to try this place in lieu of its reasonable price.

The burger, called the All Star Steakburger, was basically a pretty thick, bacon cheeseburger. Everything on it was okay. The meat was okay, the fixings run-of-the-mill, they did have bacon, but everything was plain to the point of being unremarkably immemorable.

The fries were fries, and cole slaw was cole slaw. Overall comparability I'd rate it with Denny's or something. Not somewhere I'd go out of my way for for a burger, but something safe if you happen to be passing by.

A lapse in sound judgment

The Behemoth
Originally uploaded by jaceman4

So my buddies decided to take me out to try this thing for my birthday. The Behemoth at the Ram was a fairly new item and I approached it with mixed feelings. I have to say though, the food at the Ram has significantly improved as of late, maybe I should go back more often.

Anyways, the burger itself wasn't anything special, besides the three patties, the excess fixings made it actually quite difficult to eat. Overall, the lack of condiments other than mayo meant you could experiment with whatever stuff was on the house, I stuck mostly with A1 and BBQ sauce. The beef was good, but not exceptional, it was good enough to keep me going for a little while. All-in-all I don't really recommend trying this unless you really want to for some reason.

Fries were good. Not much else to say.

Nostalgia ruins things later

Kobe Burger
Originally uploaded by jaceman4

Typically it does. First note though, I will be doing something a little different this time, I'm going to nix the whole grading mechanism and the more I think about it the more I find it somewhat contrived. So now, I'll just go with my (witty) exposition to discuss the merits of each burger (rather than place) that I have consumed. I had actually been somewhat looking forward to going to Cheesecake Factory (as you can tell by the dim lighting in the picture) for a while. I recall generally disliking the place and then once going for somebody's birthday, ordering the Kobe burger and being blown away. Perhaps it was the low expectations that time and the higher ones this time, perhaps it was the Palo Alto Cheesecake Factory that time and the Bellevue one this time, who knows? I would posit that it's likely the menu change (as I've experienced with Red Robin), which now boasts a greater selection of burgers (which apparently I guess you can get any of which with kobe beef), was the cause of the decline (at least in my perspective) in the quality of the product.

The beef was good, albeit the patty was a little small for the bun, but it had that full beefy flavor. The sauteed mushrooms and caramelized onions added a nice fragrant sweetness to the flavor. No condiments, but you really didn't need a whole lot as all the natural flavors mixed together quite well. That being said, it was plain. I didn't really appreciate the shredded iceberg, not that I don't like it, but for a place like Cheesecake factory, it seemed a little sub-par, other than that, the bun was a nice toasted kaiser roll affair, nothing fancy, did the job. Overall, it's a good burger, and the burgers are probably what I'd stick with on the entrees at Cheesecake Factory if/when I return. It's got that nice, safe, know-what-you're-going-to-get factor to it, so if you're ever there for any reason, and you don't know what to get (it's hard to decide when the menu is a catalog), go with the burgers, the kobe is a safe bet. $13 is a little pricey, but you could do worse, and besides, it's Cheesecake Factory, not like you're going to pay much less for anything else.

On a side (semi-unintentional pun) note, the fries are your run of the mill affair. You do get it a cup, which I guess is fancier? Either that or a way to give you less without looking stingy. Who knows? It's not like we're here for fries anyways. That being said, it goes well with the burger, it's hard to do fries poorly, though it's not unheard of. Cheesecake, they hit status quo.

Did that really just happen?

The Houston
Originally uploaded by jaceman4

It's really sad that I should say this, but I came in here with rather low expectations, or rather let's say, reservations, and Johnny Rocket's pretty much met all of them. Now, I'm not saying that it's inedible, but really? I suppose it's an experiential thing, but I can't say much when I have adolescent boys asking me if he can shoot spitballs at the teenage girls over in the next booth. We (my friend and I) also spent a nickel on those table-side jukebox thingies to play a song that we could barely make out over the sound of table conversation, adolescent hormones, and the open kitchen.

Now as I said, the burger in and of itself isn't horrible. The meat quality was decent, the bun was a bun, the fixings were a little not fresh, but nothing I haven't seen before. The Houston was supposed to be a "spicy" burger, so they added some pickled jalapenos, not that spicy. The sauce was pretty nice, like a cajun aioli type of deal.

The fries were fries, and the lack of description really means they were that nondescript. The fact that they serve it to you on a plastic plate the size of a stenopad makes you feel like this is a high school cafeteria all over again, only you just paid like $10 for it. Seriously, this makes Denny's look awesome.

Rating of the Burger:
Meat: B-
Bun: B-
Fixings: C-
Condiments: B+
Sides: B-
Price: $7-$10
Overall Rating: C-
Recommended Burger: Eh... if I had to... Bacon Cheddar Double

You've got to be kidding me...

Mushroom Burger
Originally uploaded by jaceman4

I kind of already had a hunch when I came here that I wouldn't be rating this place very highly. It's not that their food is bad, it's just that you're paying WAY too much for what you're really getting. It's more the price than the quality that really kills Kidd Valley's rating. It's funny, because it has all of these awards (none since 2000), like Evening Magazine best non-franchise burger... which leads me to believe that Evening Magazine knows absolutely nothing about burgers or that Seattle burgers were hurting in 2000, unless the quality of the Kidd Valley burger has dropped drastically, and I mean drastically in the last 10 years, which I suppose is entirely possible.

It's a pretty Burger King-esque affair, the meat was well done, they have this nifty rotating flame broiler thingy in the kitchen (kind of like those rack bagel toaster or pizza baker things). The bun was a typical Franz's sesame bun, the fixings were, well, not the best you can get, but relatively okay if you compare to a fast food joint, to me it's pretty hard to screw up sauteed mushrooms, condiments were, the typical, though on a mushroom burger you don't really expect much, so I couldn't really taste a whole lot.

The sides were good, the fries were very fresh, but also, unsalted, and thereby, tasted like a lot of potato, and that gets old pretty fast. All in all, not a bad place to go if you're in a rush, they do have better sides like garlic fries, sweet potato fries, and fried mushrooms, but they also cost extra.

Rating of the burger:
Meat: B-
Bun: B-
Fixings: C
Condiments: D
Sides: B
Price: $9-$12
Overall Rating: C-
Recommended Burger: Bacon Cheeseburger

A neighborhood burger from a neighborhood grill

Steakhouse Burger
Originally uploaded by jaceman4

It's an interesting phenomenon that in the immediate Seattle area there are no Applebees around. Anyways, some friends and I ended up going to the one up in Lynnwood because one of my friend's little sister is only 18 and she can't get into other typical happy hours. Anyways, we went and I realized that it was Monday, and on Mondays, the burgers are only $5, which was sweet.

So, I ordered the Steakhouse Burger, because I am a sucker for steak sauce. The meat was well cooked and good and juicy, definitely a plus. The bun, it did its job, the burger was contained as a handheld edible. The fixings were good, though the onion straws were a little on the overpowering side, so it was kind of hard to really taste a whole lot else. I am a sucker for steaksauce, but the onion straws were so overbearing you only tasted it here and there. Sadness.

The fries were, well, fries. I think they might've been slightly seasoned, it was a plus, I liked them. All in all, if you're ever at an Applebees late Monday night it's definitely worth it, even if you're just at an Applebees normally, I'd still probably get it.

Rating the Burger:
Meat: B+
Bun: B-
Fixings: C+
Condiments: C+
Sides: B
Price: $5-$10
Overall Rating: B-
Recommended Burger: Steakhouse Burger

It's a happy hour burger

Classic Cheeseburger
Originally uploaded by jaceman4

I don't mean this in any disparaging way, but rather that it's not something you go out of your way expecting supreme excellence from. Really, you don't. I certainly don't walk into happy hours thinking, "I am going to have the best burger ever..." because let's be honest, if you do, then either you don't eat a lot of burgers or you have to tell me where you go to happy hour. Stanford's is a semi-local establishment, with stores in Oregon and California as well as in Washington, so a group of friends and I decided to come here after volleyball. In all honesty, I really just expected a cheap burger.

Stanford's is by no means a burger joint, it makes no claims to be one, and by my honest assessment it isn't. It's pretty much your run-of-the-mill upper-middle class dining establishment, where the food is blase and predictable, but safe. You're not going to wow anybody going here, but more likely than not, you'll probably leave thinking it was alright. It's probably somewhere you go if you can't decide wherre to eat, and you're really just going more for the company anyways.

The patty was pretty well made, I liked the beef flavor, though it was slightly on the thinner side. The bun was well toasted, which gives it bonus points, it was something of a sesame and poppy seed affair, which was interesting, but which I feel neither added nor took away to or from the experience. The fixings were fairly fresh, which I do enjoy, nothing spectacular about them. As for the condiments, it appeared at first glance there were none aside from the side of ketchup that comes with the burger, but they actually have a sweet Thousand Island/honey mustard/relishy thingy under the patty that's actually pretty good. I'd say it's fairly comparable to the sauce they use in Dick's Burgers.

Finally, the fries, well, I'm not a huge fan of shoe-string potatoes, which these essentially were, but to exacerbate the situation, these fries were oversalted. Seriously, there were points in time I was eating entire grains of salt. Okay, so their still edible, but really? French fries? Is that to be your downfall?

Rating of the Burger:
Meat: B
Bun: A-
Fixings: B+
Condiments: B+
Sides: D
Price: $4.50-$10
Overall Rating: B-
Recommended Burger: Classic Cheeseburger (during happy hour)

Poor man's royalty

A1 Steakhouse XT Burger
Originally uploaded by jaceman4

Incidentally, I went to the Burger King in Castle Rock on my way back from Portland (yes across the street from the gas station) not because it was intentional on my part, but rather, it was the most expedient place to eat. I found out actually, that Exit 49 is one of the exits for the 504 which takes you to Mt. St. Helen's which my dad and I decided to "stop by" on the way back.

Anyways, I wasn't really expecting a whole lot when I came here, but I have to say this time I was somewhat pleasantly surprised by the XT burger. The original XT burger really was nothing to talk about, it was bland and unassuming to the point of being not good. Maybe people in Castle Rock just know how to make burgers. Anyways, my impression of this burger ran pretty much into the realms of something I'd slap together super quick at home. The patty doesn't taste awesome, but it's not super processed, it's roughly the equivalent of a decent pre-frozen patty you might purchase for a family BBQ from say like Costco. The bun is your run-of-the-mill French style roll, and the fixings weren't super fresh, but passable. The A1 tastes pretty much like the bottle of A1 Thick 'n Hearty I used to have in my fridge, which I like, but it really isn't something that stands out, and certainly not something worth paying extra money for.

As for the sides, Burger King does get bonus points onion rings free of charge, but not a whole lot as the onion rings aren't superlative by any means, but still, they are onion rings. However, my beef is that the boxes are puny.

Rating of the Burger:
Meat: C+
Bun: B-
Fixings: C
Condiments: B-
Sides: B-
Price: $4-10
Overall rating: C+
Recommended Burger: A1 Steakhouse XT Burger